a little bit dazed
8:03 PM | Friday, October 31, 2008
my week passed like a whirlwind. it all went too fast before everything even had a chance to sink in. as i have probably mentioned (too lazy to check) in my previous post, this week's hellweek. exams on the maximum level. the exams itself was torture enough. and i refuse to talk about it. reliving the moments even pains me. ha ha. okey, overrated.
on the serious note, my lola had an operation last tuesday. i don't know why she got operated and i don't want to know. all i know is that it's just a minor thing and i am emotionally supporting her, we all are. but seeing my lola, you woudn't be worried that much as she was too happy to get operated. she was even anticipating the moment. last week she got a check up, and right after the doctor told her she needs to get an operation, she enthusiastically asked the doctor if she could get the operation on that same day. lol. i don't know whats with those needles and incisions she felt so excited about. anyway, after 48 hours in the hospital, she was discharged and here she is now at home, fully recovered and feeling like nothing happened. by that, i am trully admiring this fragile-looking fellow. (:
that was the lighter side of the week.
okey, so the night before my lola got discharged (btw, it's my lola from my mom's side since my other lola died when my father was young), we got a call from my cousin. i got the call and he asked for my dad, i felt something wrong with his voice, like something bad happened. so when my father got the phone on the extension (i was using the phone in my room), i didn't put the phone just yet. i eavesdropped for a while.. it was then that i heard my cousin's voice breaking down. he was saying something about his mother and something about the hospital. i placed the phone down and i asked my father what's wrong afterwards. and so, apparently, my auntie (dad's sister) was brought to the hospital. she had a stroke. when my father got home, he said that all my auntie could do was move her hands.
so this auntie, we were pretty tight when i was younger. back then, thay had a lot of small-time business and she did splurge a lot for me. she bought my first mountain bike, i mean bikes. she bought me two at the same time. she was also the one who bought me my first badminton racket (those ones that cost 1k+). she even gave my father the first cellphone we ever had in the family (a Nokia 3210 - old times) she gave me everything i would ask for. but then their shops closed one by one until there was nothing left. she stopped giving me things but i still kept visiting their house. i remember those times when she would be doing laundry and i was beside her in those wide laundry pails, half my body submerged in the water and me treating the pail as my bath tub. those times when she let me watch their cable, let me play the computer, and she'd tell me ghost stories. but growing up, we kind of grew apart. her son had kids, new people to spend her time with and me being the teenager, i focused on other things. but nevertheless, she played a huge part of my childhood.
first day of the two-day 'sembreak' i woke up with my mother telling me she died.
a part of me knew it would happen (i have a strong instinct on these kind of things). i went back to bed, puzzled. until this blog, i never greived. she was a jolly person that i knew she wouldn't want to see me crying over her. until this blog that is. what's just sad is that the last time a talked to her was a month ago, and i wan't even able to say goodbye to her properly. if only i'd known it would be my last goodbye to her.. but she's such a good person, i am sure she's with God right now. she may not be with us physically anymore, but i am sure she'll forever be in our hearts. my parent's went to her wake last night, they told me it had a jolly atmosphere. just how my auntie would've wanted it to be. (':
this is hard. not having someone to talk about these kind of stuffs. it is awkward to talk about these things with my parents. and just stupid if i talk to my sister about these things. haha. that's why i have always wanted an older sister/brother. but anyway, this is my only way of letting these things out. to my other cousins (mom's side, since you're the ones who usually read my crap :P) please please don't tell my mother about this. and your mothers since they are bound to tell my mother anyway. she doesn't even know i have a blog (too old for diaries. haha) so please please please, pretty please. may whatever you read here stay between the both of us. cause once she'll know, she'll drag me to those mature, adult conversations again, which i am not in the mood for. so please?
that is all.
Happy Halloween, btw.
